'OLD GEEZER' ADVICE: 'GROW UP'.(MONEYWISE)

Byline: Bruce Williams

DEAR BRUCE: I am sick and tired of guys like you screwing up my life. I'm 23 years old, married for a year, and we have no kids, but one is on the way. My wife and my mother are constantly on my back about saving money, IRAs, 401(k)s, in general squirreling away money for my old years.

I would like to live now. I don't want a sports car when I'm 40 years old and over the hill. Every time I try to buy something, whether it's a boat, a cycle or something else, my wife and my mother come down like a cloud. They love to quote people like you who write columns that say this is not wise. Stay out of my life. Just because you are an old geezer and don't want to have any fun is no reason why others shouldn't. - T.N., via e-mail

DEAR T.N.: What an interesting letter. I'll bet that when you were younger and things didn't go your way, you stomped your feet and held your breath until you turned purple. As a matter of fact, you probably still do. The only shame in this is that you are married. You are still a little boy who wants instant gratification. You are fortunate that your wife is more mature.

There is no reason why you should give up everything now for future years. A story that is probably close to your mental age, the one about the grasshopper and the ant, is one that you should take to heart.

In the meantime, please offer my sincere condolences to your wife. She's grown up and married to a little boy. What a tragedy! By the way, this ''old geezer'' still flies his own plane and has a boat docked off of the backyard, and is having a great, active life.

DEAR BRUCE: I bought a used car last week from a dealer who I know to be reputable. After I bought the car, I ran the vehicle identification number on the Internet and found out that the speedometer was about 50,000 miles lower than it was six months ago. Obviously someone has been spinning the odometer. I took it back to the dealer and he sincerely apologized, saying that he bought the car wholesale, and he had no way of knowing. He would give me a full refund in cash or apply it toward another car. Do you think that I am entitled to more? After all, he wasn't supposed to sell me a car with a changed odometer. - L.Z., via e-mail

DEAR L.Z.: It seems to me that the dealer is acting quite honorably. The likelihood is that what he is telling you is true. He picked up this piece wholesale, had no reason to believe that the odometer was spun, and sold it to you in good faith. When you brought this to his attention he immediately offered to make restitution. I don't see where you could ask for anything fairer. I don't believe that for the day or two that you owned the car you are entitled to something extra.

DEAR BRUCE: Maybe you can settle an argument for my wife and me. I know you like old cars and have collected a few. I have always wanted to acquire an older car and restore it. It would be a little bit of a strain on our budget, but these cars have no where to go but up. My wife says that she doesn't feel that with kids and a mortgage and very little in savings, we can afford this kind of a luxury. I keep trying to tell her that this is an investment, but she won't hear of it. - L.W., via e-mail

DEAR L.W.: You are correct when you say that I like old cars, and yes, I have a couple. You are very much misinformed, however, if you think that just because they are old, they are going to be worth more money. The hard facts are that in most cases it's cheaper to buy a completely restored car than to do it yourself. More often than not, the guy who restores the car and wants to turn it into cash will have to accept a whole lot less than what he has in the car.

Collecting, restoring and driving old cars is a fun hobby if you can afford it. But if you think you're going to come out ahead, you're wrong.

Maybe you can compromise and buy an old piece that is not in the classic category, so it wouldn't cost very much. After the kids are a little older and your income increases, you may be able to do serious collecting.

Bruce Williams hosts a radio show on 55KRC from 7 to 10 weeknights. Send questions to him, c/o The Cincinnati Post, 125 E. Court St., Cincinnati, 45202, or e-mail him at bruce@brucewilliams.com.